Mother’s Day!

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Happy Sunday! It’s Mother’s Day! It was a beautiful sunny drive to and from St. George’s this morning, but it’s raining here now, in Cobourg.  Oh well, after I managed to kill the dandelions in the front yard (and the grass around them!), we need some rain to help fix the grass!

I mixed up a recipe for the dandelion killing (vinegar, epsom salts and Dawn detergent) and it did work well. But as I said, it also killed the grass too.  Fortunately, I sprayed the dandelions directly and didn’t go crazy and spray everything.  We’ll see if I can get the grass to grow back where I killed it and get it growing enough to overcome the weeds.  I can hope!

Well, as we know, it’s Mother’s Day! Our minister today tiptoed around it carefully. He does have a point. Everyone has a mother, but not all remember their mothers fondly. Some children were given up at birth and were adopted by someone they became to know as their mother (that was me!). Some had mothers who were abusive, or alcoholics, or drug addicts (that was not me!), who probably should have given up their children to a mother who would have loved them and might have been better able to care for them.

I am not meaning to be judgemental. But as a single mother myself, I know there are challenges and if the best thing you can do for your child is to give them up, that’s okay. Not everyone is cut out to be a mother. Perhaps I should say that not everyone is cut out to be a mom, lots of women get to be a mother, but aren’t prepared to be a mom. It isn’t an easy job and no matter how healthy your kids are it can be a challenge.

On top of that, I give special praise to moms with children with challenges–physical and mental. Now that can be a real challenge and one of the most heart wrenching challenges of all. When I was expecting my first daughter, there was another woman in my church expecting a child.  Her first was born without a brain, only a brain stem, and the child was not expected to live for very long–possibly only days or weeks.  The little darling lived for three years and was loved and cared for every day of her short little life. Her mother was a very special soul.

So, I wish every mother out there a happy Mother’s day, and may your mothering be rewarding and teach you more that you ever knew you would know. I learned some interesting things, like; soup can be a finger food! Who saw that one coming?

And the greatest achievement a mother can ever have is seeing their children become strong and independent adults. I know that many kids the age of mine (27 and almost 25) still live at home. Both of my daughters are self supporting and rent their own condos in downtown Toronto. Even though I was a single parent from the time my youngest was four months old, my kids have grown into the kind of adults anyone would be proud of.  I did okay! I can pat myself on the back and say I did an alright job.  Yay me! I consider it to be my greatest achievement!

So, God bless all, especially all the moms out there, and may your Mother’s Day be great!

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Mother’s Day Continued

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Happy Saturday dear friends!  It’s quite rainy here in the resort town of Cobourg.  Tomorrow, I am headed to Huntsville with my honey.  He has a two day conference there on Monday and Tuesday, so we have a bit of a getaway!  But that is why I am doing my weekly blog on a Saturday, while my laundry is being taken care of my the washer and dryer upstairs.

I thought I would continue the Mother’s Day theme that I began last week, where you got to hear how I became a mother.  I left off where Gary left me to raise the girls on my own when Kaitlyn was four months old.  Well, that was over 23 years ago!  Quite a bit has happened since then!

Now I have two lovely women that I am proud to call my daughters!  They have both been living on their own for about four years, as they did not want to leave the city life, when I moved with my honey to the resort town of Cobourg.

I loved the time when they were little, we had a lot of fun.  I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, when they were almost two and four.  It was just another challenge thrown our way, but despite that and raising them on my own, we did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun.  They learned to bake from the time they were old enough to stand on a chair at the counter with me.  We did a lot of craft stuff over the years.  Essentially, I did the things that didn’t require much movement, as the MS slowed me down that way.

Their father did the park stuff.  At least he did for a while. When My oldest was 14, she decided that she could no longer take the negativity she got from her father.  No matter what she did, it seemed to be wrong to him.  They would spend every other weekend at his home, and then he would take them to dinner every Wednesday and tell them everything they did wrong.  Not fun.  It was difficult for Alysse to stop seeing him, as she adored him, but the negativity was just too much.  For Kaitlyn, because she didn’t remember him ever living with us and never really felt a connection, she was just as happy to never see him again.

So, then I was mother and father, I guess.  The plus side of that is that you can’t be criticized for the way you deal with your kids by the other parent, but the negative side is that it is entirely your own fault, if they become a burden to society.  It seems I did okay, that way.  At one time, I thought I was a great mother, then things happened and I thought I was an okay mother and then I thought I was a terrible mother.  It seems my kids have set me straight.  We have had discussions about it.  They, without even being pressed!, tell me that I was a great mother and that they have grown into strong women because of it.  That makes me very happy.

I hear a lot from my older daughter, not so much from my Kaitlyn.  But she was always the more independent one.  I don’t sit around waiting for contact.  I am just happy that they are able to manage on their own and know that they are missed and welcome to come visit any time.  I do try to get into the city to visit with them every now and then.

It is a wonderful thing to follow your children’s lives and know that you had a hand in who they have become and be able to be proud of that.  We have had our challenges through the years and we have learned from those and carried on.

My oldest, Alysse, as I have likely said before, is a hairstylist and a very good one.  She does mostly weddings and just loves it.  My youngest, Kaitlyn, just graduated from Ryerson University with a BComm in Retail Management.  She is currently working at Saks Fifth Avenue, but is looking for something in her chosen field, which I hope she finds!

Well, folks that wraps up this week’s blog.  I’ll have to think of a topic for next week, when I get to see my sister from British Columbia, with her lovely little daughter.  I am so looking forward to seeing them.

So, God bless all of you this week